_A mile on the ocean is further than a mile on land.

Holy mackerel would include the tuna, albacore and the bonito. Not the holy part, per se, but the mackerel.

If the volcano is submerged it's an atoll.

A lobster's body has 19 parts. That's more than the puzzle I just completed.

When 10 segments or so accumulate on the end of a rattler's tail, they begin to fall off. Because of this, that is not the best way to accurately guess their age. Some have noted it is a good way, much like the rings of a tree or my uncle's stomach.

Let's get this straight. Henry Ford did not invent the automobile.

Somehow, seven elephants and bears survived the Titanic ordeal. Didn't see that in the movie.

It was burnt bread that was placed in a Roman's drink. Thus became the toast.

The first woman on an airplane was probably earlier than you think. If you said 1908, you win the luggage. But, why so early in the progression of flight? She, or a woman named Hart Berg, took a two-minute flight with Wilber Wright.

Chicken pox has nothing to do with chickens and yet, the book of Genesis mentions chickens but not the egg. Hmmm.

Smut is a fungi. To some, I'm sure it is. I do not mind it, however.

IN CLOSING: "An F in English? Bobby, you speak English." From Hank Hill to his son, Bobby, on "King of the Hill."

_Helen Keller was not born deaf, dumb and blind. A fever caused that.

If it's chirping, it's a male cricket. If it's belching and rolling around naked, it's my uncle.

As best as I can see, two presidents, who held their top spots at the same time, were also born in the same state. Now, follow me on this. President Abraham Lincoln was president of the United States and President Jefferson Davis was president of the Confederate States of America. Both were born in Kentucky. That's an item not seen or heard all the time.

For the last time, Leap Years do not occur every four years.

Do not blame humans for the extinction of the dodo. Most likely culprits were pigs and monkeys. They loved the eggs.

For most of the life of the Earth, the poles were ice free. Just think about that for a second and now read the headlines and read the panic.

Tears do not flow in space.

As for bones, they are not white. We see them that way because they are cleaned up a bit.

Alexander Graham Bell could play music by ear but it looked stupid and really hurt.

He may have been a genius but he never learned how to drive. He was Albert Einstein. Maybe he was on to something.

_Abner Doubleday, who did not "invent" baseball, did fight at the battle of Gettysburg. And George Bailey fought the battle of Bedford Falls. Come on, you get that one. Think Mary, Clarence and Zuzu's petals.

There have been more vice presidents than presidents. Yet, some presidents had no vice president for a term here and there.

Simply put, the word husband once meant the head of household. Not much else.

After the White House burned during the term of James Madison, he never returned to it. He was out of office when it was refurbished.
Many early colonists were afraid of forests.

During the Middle Ages, only the wealthy wore gloves. The rest - - mittens. I prefer sock puppets.

"It was a gift, for crying out loud." That's my quote for Vincent Van Gogh after he cut off part of his ear to give to his love, Rachel. Remember, it was part of his ear, not the whole darn thing.

The original draft of the Emancipation Proclamation was destroyed in the Great Chicago Fire. Real "great" huh? When they refer to destroyed I'm assuming burned but water could do some serious damage as well. It's your turn to do some research.

Pigs can become drunks and drunks can become pigs.

When someone screams, "Holy Toledo," I look at them in disgust for two reasons. One being it's loud and the second is pondering: "Who the heck uses that phrase anymore?" This item has veered so much, I have no idea where I'm at now. Check with me later.

"Holy Toledo" referred to Toledo, Spain. There now, that was easy.

_- A buckskin sold for a dollar, thus a buck was born.

- In 1778, Daniel Boone was arrested because some thought him a British Spy. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, he deliberately exposed himself (no, not that way) to smallpox.

- Truth is, Buffalo Bill was a popular nickname in the Old West. Please, make sure you track down the right when when writing about him.

- By most accounts, Thomas Edison was a slob. A good one, too.

- Those large termites known as soldiers cannot feed themselves. Now I feel sorry for them.

- Magnets, attached to cats, thrown off their navigational skills, so stop it right now.

- I can burn one calorie a minute while I sleep. So I sleep for 250 hours when I can.

- A Eurasian beaver rarely builds a dam or gives one, either. Now, have you ever seen a Eurasian beaver? Let's move on.

- Ben Franklin was in Europe when the Tea Party took place.

- Nostradamus and his writings indicate Napoleon as the first anti-christ. The second would be Napoleon Dynamite for thinking his hijinks would last.

- When Sir Walter Raleigh lit up a bit of tobacco in front of the queen, he came into quite a drenching. They di think he was on fire.

- In the Middle Ages, baths were taken by doctor's request. I request the same thing daily to my Uncle Willie. I just wished he would listen.

- Chopin hated the number seven. Not the movie, just the number.

- Fiddler back in the day, whatever that means, were fit because of tall that fiddling. Therefore, they were "fit as a fiddle."

- In London, the word bug refers to bedbugs - - all the others are insects. Is this still true?

- The pineapple was not originally native to Hawaii. As for those tiny bubbles, we are still checking.

- A male swan could be called a cob, sans the corn on the ...this item got away from me somehow.

- Oh, you may have heard that the flounder has both eyes on the same side of its head, but so does the halibut. Furthermore, you may have heard that the halibut has both eyes on the same side of its head, but so does the flounder. Huh?

- The first person to go over Niagara Falls was a woman, that is well documented. But, she could not swim. She did survive, unlike my Aunt Wilma, who could swim, ate her vegetables, and ate fish. She did all the right things, but Niagara got her. She slipped taking a photo of someone going over Niagara Falls in a barrel.

- As for mammals, true flight goes to the bat. The others, they glide. Let's hear it for the bats.

- Dr. David Livingston, I presume, was embalmed with sand. Oh, his heart was buried under a tree.

- Folks in Maine celebrated Thanksgiving before the Pilgrims and they had turkey. The Pilgrims did not. The ones who talk and hear about did not, that is.

- Barbers did indeed exist in Biblical times. It strikes me odd to say Biblical times. What? Forget that, now?

- Apple seeds are not the only thing Johnny Appleseed went around planting and throwing about.

- There is a legend out there that doesn't get much coverage, especially in February. That would be, groundhogs are actually afraid of their shadows.

- Kangaroos keep growing throughout their entire lives.

- Sometimes, when it rains, a camel will run and never come back.

- A parasite wasp is about the size of the period at the end of this sentence. No, make it this one. OK, try this one. Enough.

- The skin of the hippo weighs half a ton. No wonder why it sinks to the bottom and feeds. Baby hippos will swim before they walk. Someone who knows such things has told me the longest hippo fight on record was 8 hours.

- Short-term memory is at its best from 9-10 a.m. What? I didn't catch that. Ask me again later.

- The rhino charges many things for a reason we may not understand. They have bad eyesight. On second thought, we do understand, I'm guessing.

- Nothing is ever at rest. Nothing, ever.

- The force of gravity pulls all of us toward the center of the Earth. Let's journey, shall we? Nice stretch to get to "Journey to the Center of the Earth" in this item.

- If we did not produces saliva, we would not taste anything.

MIAMI: After a man was found dead in his home, the cause is not yet determined. When firefighters arrived, they found this home filled with bees - - many of them. It was determined, however, that the homes was home to 60,000 bees, too. They were living in the wall. Renovation, I'll pass.

ALASKA: In Fairbanks, police arrested a man who would often brag that he would drive fast. he was clocked going 100mph as the police prompted got him. He also would boast about his "ability" to running slow drivers off the road. Assault was added to the charges.

KENTUCKY: a record shop in Louisville closed. It was called ear X-tacy. Perhaps because albums and the like are oil-based, and not as rare as we sometimes think. I used to think that until I saw many people my age with so many we have no idea what to do with them. "They are worth money," I am always told. Nope, most are not.

DELAWARE: a study is being planned for a proposed passenger rail operation. The study was approved and the first phase will cost $900,000. That is on top of the federal subsidy of $400,000. That is for the first phase of the study with no actual work. OK, occupy that for a while. Why on Earth do studies cost so much?

FLORIDA: an item about a two-headed albino snake caught my attention. Not because of the snake perse, but because each brain controls each brain and makes life quite difficult for said snake.

MARYLAND: a new road will open Nov. 22 linking Interstate 370 and 95. This was a $2.56 billion project. Travelers use it from Nov. 22 to Dec for FREE. Free, it cost $2.56 billion. I'm starting to see why we are broke in this land. I wonder what the Panama Canal or the Hover Dam would cost if we tried it today. Wait, we wouldn't be able to without protests, overruns, delays and ...well, you get it.

MISSOURI: copper wire was stolen from a radio tower used by police. They say it has not affected their signal which leads many to ask, "Then why was it there?"

NEW YORK: We, as taxpayers, may have to fork over money for this guy's transplant. Raj Rajaratnam was sentenced to prison for hedge fund problems. He is wealthy by the way, but because he is in prison, we may get the tab, which could reach $300,000. He is now in North Carolina. Maybe those occupy folk should focus on things like this.

ARIZONA: Kiss it and make it better, or in this case, lick it. A 43-year-old man was arrested for assault after he walked a woman to her car and the asked to see here knee. Yes, earlier the knee came in conversation. She had scraped it. He bent down and licked the wound.

FLORIDA; Police went on a chase recently in Miami with a person who was clocked, at one time, driving 120 mph. After all things settled down, it turns out the person that was speeding was late getting to his job as a security guard. Oh, that is his part time gig. his regular job is a police officer. Officer Fausto Lopez was arrested at gunpoint after the high speed chase.

IOWA: It was a bunch of crap, this was. Environmental officials estimated that a recent fish kill was due to a manure spill into a creak, not some global warming, chemical runoff from some big business farmer, like many believed. Iowans didn't think that, others who were nowhere around did.

OREGON: In Eugene, go ahead and sit on those walls in downtown parks. Law enforcement officials has said they will stop issuing tickets, which they started doing in August.

PENNSYLVANIA: The Supreme Court in this state will start using Twitter for those who want to follow its actions. God help us if this spreads.

GEORGIA: They have issued an alert in Macon about the spinymussel. It is being added to the endangered species list.

NEBRASKA: The Grand Island at this airport houses many aviation related item and aircraft. Soon, though shrooms will take over as a tech building will house a booming mushroom industry owned by Gorden and Corey Cline. OK, I threw in booming but I'm not sure.

NEVADA: In what we all hope is not a growing trend because of the economy comes this one. Officials are reported items being stolen from stores and then sold on the Internet. And we are not talkiing about candy bars and such. Many are electronic in nature, but no nature items. Huh?


Loose ends:

WASHINGTON D.C.: Over the last three years, gang membership has risen up to 40 percent. The total, they says, is now 1.4 million members. This list includes what FBI uses as street, prison and outlaw motorcycle gangs across the United States.

Many headlines and stories were written about the lonely tree used in "The Shawshank Redemption" after it fell, but this one hardly a breath. The oak tree where Lt. Gen Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson led his troops in prayer in 1862 was brought down by high winds recently.

ANY DAY IN THE USA

ARKANSAS: Apparently two local governments have jurisdiction over a wastewater treatment plant in Texarkana. Each side is split on how to deal with the waste issue. Well, tell them their name is Texarkana and work it out. Wait, is that Texas or Arkansas?

OKLAHOMA: A Tulsa man shot himself in the leg. Check that, we did not know how he was shot when this story went to press. But he was shot in the leg. Oh, and he attempted to drive himself to the hospital. He stopped at a fast food joint for hello instead. This all started while he was feeding the ducks. Any moral here?

INDIANA: Identical twin sisters in Bloomington gave birth birth on the same day. Most at the hospital have said they do not know of any instance of this happening before because nobody really cared.

DELAWARE: Higher education in action in Lewes with give the students of the University of Delaware the assignment of naming the school's ice cream flavor. Student loans in action.

IOWA: A recent power outage in Mason City was blamed on birds. Our question is: could the smart grid prevent that?

MICHIGAN: Apparently the police in Detroit have to remind residents that it is illegal to "pump gasoline into containers and carry flammable liquid from Oct. 27 through Oct. 31." How many will wait that one out? And, it is OK to do it at all, huh?

GEORGIA: In Atlanta, 62 teachers were fired, then rehired, then fired again. They were rehired to work in jobs that simply were not really jobs, just titles. Welcome to the United States Government.

NEVADA: You will see yellow pill boxes in Henderson as a way of getting rid of those nasty prescriptions noone wants. make that, people want, so they have to put them into yellow lock box. Now, enter Illinois were purple paint will surely keep away unwanted intruders. That is the aim and resident await a swatch of purple all over. Well, not from Bears fans, that is.

TENNESSEE: In Greensville, they haven't seen a species known as Chucky Madtom (a catfish) in years. The result: The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service has suggested they designate 20 miles along a river as "critical habitat." Critical? I would say "possibly extinct" and dead, expired, "cease to exists." And with Monty Python in mind: "It would be pushing up daisies in you hadn't nailed it to the perch."

MASSACHUSETTS: A sidewalk was to be paved in North Andover. But the problem was, a tree was in the way. A very old tree. Never fear as two, yes two, families got together and donated parts of their land so the sidewalk could be paved around the tree. Now, take care of that nasty budget matter.


*Inspired by the Across the USA section in the USA Today. This is compiled by Tim O'Brien for the O'Brien News Service. Tim is also an avid reader and gathers items from a wide variety of soy in the sources, while adding in his own thoughts and nuggets. No dates needed here as this can and did happen Any Day in the USA. Sure, some may have been resolved, went further and even had other implications, but, they did happen once on Any Day in the USA. Enjoy this NEW feature.

- "I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I would rather dance with cows until you come home." - Groucho Marx, "Duck Soup"
- Truth be told, Napoleon couldn't really ride a horse that well. I'm thinking because he always had that hand in his coat - - because of stomach problems.
- The rarest diamond is blood red or the one that I would buy.
- You have a greater chance of contracting rabies from a cow than a rat. You, not me.
- If you need helium, try going to Kansas. By the way, we refused to give Germany helium, so they couldn't use it in the Hindenburg. Boom.
- Illinois was once called the "Sucker State." It still feels that way today.
- Mistletoe is a parasite, so kiss me now.
- The thumb has its own area of control in the brain. Thumbs up to that one. Yes, that was stupid.
- As for age, you could call the sun, middle-aged. A crisis is coming.
- There are about 2,000,000 mites in an average double bed. I'll suggest 2,000,003.
- During the day, the sun causes your house to stretch.
- Metal hangers are sagging from the weight and as a result are giving off an ultra-low frequency groan, if you will. No, I will not. But call them Humming Hangers.
- Yes, anti-freeze is used in some toothpaste.
- A bolt of lightning is never straight.
- If we landed on Venus, we would suffocate, be crushed and roasted - - simultaneously. Road trip?
- The Jet Stream wasn't discovered until World War II.
- The world's greatest mountain range lies below the ocean.
- There is no air on the moon so shut up, I can't hear you anyway.
- Buckingham Palace was built on top of a sewer...a very large sewer.
- Cold water holds more oxygen than warm water.

- No way was George Washington standing on that boat when it went to the other side. Standing up, what the? Wow, he could have easily taken a dive plus he would have been an easy target. Surely someone would have said, sit down George, you are rocking the boat.
- Hey, for the last time, the potato is actually a modified stem, not a root. Huh?
- Fleas do not like vitamin B. It really is that simple so let's move on. Wait, we are not done yet. They also hate the smell of cedar.
- Worms do not have ears.
- Eleanor Barry loved reading. She loved it so much she had stacks of books everywhere. One day she fell asleep while reading and one of those stacks fell on her - - and killed her. The book she was reading was "How To Properly Stack Books." No, it was not. But she did die that way.
- Twelve cockroaches can live on the glue of a postage stamp for a week. Just one more reason to shut that place down.
- Rats can tread water up to three days but I still do not know why they want to.
- Chickens have no sweat glands. Sometimes I feel like I don't either.
- We ignore the majority of the sounds we hear on a daily basis. If we didn't we would go nuts.
- As a child, Abraham Lincoln taught his pet pig to play hide and seek. As an adult, Abe did things, too.
- William Henry Harrison brought his own cow to the White House. It was his wife. Oh, come on, we do not make jokes like that anymore. OK, he did it for the milk. The cow, that is.
- Bees do not swarm before a storm.
- I have just been informed that if a pig squeals in winter, there will be a blizzard. And this is not a squeal when you try to pull its tail. Stop it.
- Why aren't we eating chicken feathers as they are 97 percent protein?
- Ben Franklin had an IQ higher than Isaac Newton. Who doesn't? Oh, they were 145 to 130, respectively. Oh, one more item. That apple most likely did not fall on his head. Nearby, sure, not on his head.
- If you were alive 65 million years ago, well, you would be very old...
- Ouch! A baby giraffe is roughly 6 feet tall when born. I use roughly for mom and ouch as well.
- Abracadabra was once thought to be the cure for a fever.
- To the moon Alice...maybe not, but Silly Putty made it to the moon.
- The largest cell is an ostrich egg, sunny side up.
- Adam named the donkey after attending a Democratic Convention. Huh? Eve went for a snack.
- There is more gold in the oceans than in all the banks in the world.