North Pole is invisible, you say?

There was a time in warfare when you could witness the cannonball rolling toward you. All you had to do was step out of the way or jump over it. Sure, if you were a coward, that is. Yes indeed, it was considered cowardly to do that. Call me a coward then.

Rats cannot vomit. Believe me, I've tried to get them to. I'm lonely.

The North Pole is actually a term used for a pole up north. Wait a minute, I lost track. The North Pole is actually several "invisible" surface points
located in the Arctic Region.

When Roswell Downer installed a telephone in his home, he was happy. It
didn't take him long before he was downer. So Roswell was really a downer because he could not talk to anybody. Nobody he knew had a phone. In fact, it was so early in the phone game he decided to hook one up at his bank, too.

What Galileo thought he saw around Saturn were moons, not actually rings. As for Uranus, make up your own joke right now.

A sloth may take up to a week to digest a meal. They have nothing on my uncle.


Sales of TV dinners really got a boost when it was revealed that Dwight and Mamie Eisenhower enjoyed eating them. They are long gone, but I still eat them but do not call them TV Dinners.